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The phrase i just paused is loud ...In all we show up ...we love and we still dare to dream .

Hi Archie, The essence of life is to experience deeply, to love and to be loved (yes, loving yourself counts too), to create meaning and to grow through both joy and suffering. Being happy 70% of the time is an achievement not to be discredited because of the missing 30%. Unless you're willing to compromise what you already have. Happy Jubilee year.

Welcome to Psychology of Life — a space to explore how thoughts, emotions, and behaviors shape our everyday experiences. Here, we discuss real-life situations through a psychological lens, share insights, ask questions, and reflect on what it means to grow, cope, and find meaning in life. Curious minds, thoughtful conversations, and respectful dialogue are always welcome.

I was addicted to the grind. Morning to night. Seven days a week. Deals. Calls. Meetings. Side hustles. If I wasn't making money, I felt useless. If I wasn't tired, I felt lazy. Rest wasn't rest to me-it was wasted time. My phone never left my hand. Even at the dinner table. Even during conversations. Even when my people were right in front of me, I was somewhere else mentally, chasing the next coin. I told myself I was doing it for them. For my family. For the future. But the truth? I was doing it for me. Because when I was hustling, I didn't have to feel. Didn't have to sit with my thoughts. Didn't have to face the fact that I didn't really know who I was without the busyness. My wake-up call? My son's fourth birthday. I was in the corner taking a "quick call" that lasted an hour. When I came back, cake was done. Gifts opened. He looked at me and said, "Daddy, you always leave." That cut deep. I'm learning now that presence is greater than provision. That the people who love me would rather have less money and more of me. That rest isn't weakness-it's medicine. Still a work in progress. Still learning to put the phone down. Still learning that I am enough without the next deal. Anyone else addicted to working? When did you realize busyness was a mask for something deeper? How do you learn to just... be still?

Hey Nameless, Thanks for sharing more. It sounds very lonely and frustrating to feel like you're walking on eggshells in your own home, especially on a day like Valentine's. I can hear how exhausted and 'done' you are. Okelele's point about postpartum really stands out to me, even more so after reading your last message. Spending all day in the bedroom with the baby, the withdrawal, the sudden accusations-these can be classic signs of postpartum depression or anxiety. It doesn't excuse locking you out, but it might explain the 'why' behind her behavior. She might be struggling just as much as you are, but in a different, invisible way. I know you said therapy is expensive and feels uncomfortable, but maybe there's a middle ground. Could you start by talking to our trusted counsellors here on DigiBonga or a religious leader together? Sometimes framing it as 'I'm worried about us and I'm worried about you' can open a door that anger can't. Moving out might feel like the only answer right now, but leaving a wife who might be suffering from a serious medical condition like PPD could have heavy consequences for her and your daughter. Please, before you make a decision, try to get to the bottom of what's really going on with her. You both deserve that. Also, I want to offer a little perspective from experience: year 3 is notoriously hard for many marriages, and it’s even tougher with a firstborn. That’s when the reality of responsibility sets in, childhood fades away, and the seriousness of life hits. I struggled in year 3 myself after we had our firstborn. It doesn’t make the pain any less real, but I hope it helps to know your situation isn’t unique- and it is possible to come through it.

I am open to listening and sharing experiences from the Counselling world. Let us keep talking.

I think its possible to single but not lonely..That urge can be compensated with family and friends .Being in social places and meeting like minded individuals can keep you going. Truth is in this century relationships have become so transactional and selfish .