Hey Nameless,
Thanks for sharing more. It sounds very lonely and frustrating to feel like you're walking on eggshells in your own home, especially on a day like Valentine's. I can hear how exhausted and 'done' you are.
Okelele's point about postpartum really stands out to me, even more so after reading your last message. Spending all day in the bedroom with the baby, the withdrawal, the sudden accusations-these can be classic signs of postpartum depression or anxiety. It doesn't excuse locking you out, but it might explain the 'why' behind her behavior. She might be struggling just as much as you are, but in a different, invisible way.
I know you said therapy is expensive and feels uncomfortable, but maybe there's a middle ground. Could you start by talking to our trusted counsellors here on DigiBonga or a religious leader together? Sometimes framing it as 'I'm worried about us and I'm worried about you' can open a door that anger can't.
Moving out might feel like the only answer right now, but leaving a wife who might be suffering from a serious medical condition like PPD could have heavy consequences for her and your daughter. Please, before you make a decision, try to get to the bottom of what's really going on with her. You both deserve that.
Also, I want to offer a little perspective from experience: year 3 is notoriously hard for many marriages, and it’s even tougher with a firstborn. That’s when the reality of responsibility sets in, childhood fades away, and the seriousness of life hits. I struggled in year 3 myself after we had our firstborn. It doesn’t make the pain any less real, but I hope it helps to know your situation isn’t unique- and it is possible to come through it.